Match Report
Sunday 19 May -v- Old Wilsonians at Hayes Hill
Having suffered a frightful beating at the hands of the Old Boys on our only previous visit to Wilsonians, Gord was keen to strengthen the side in a bid to maintain our successful start to the season. Shivarine Chandermoyse was despatched to Lord's, in an effort to cure his tendency to turn all his innings into a personal game of French cricket, whilst the Centrally Contracted Wilsdon, was allowed time to recover from the various new ailments he had added to an already lengthy list of old favourites. Simon Burr, drafted in from Centymca and Silver Fox, collected from an Old Peoples Home in Bexleyheath, were the replacements. Gordon's late arrival at the ground, meant that GT had already introduced himself to a bemused looking, young oppo skipper. Timmo’s camp nature thereafter, assured us of a winning toss-up and in bright sunshine on a firm pitch we asked our hosts to field. Thankfully Gordon arrived soon after, choosing to pair Darth with the ever present opener from Oz. Rich and Jim put on a steady 68 against a modest attack, before Jim was given out lbw, to an appeal initiated by the umpire and joined in very politely, by the bowler. Richard fell almost immediately afterwards to only the second ball from a new bowler, but was quick to offer advice to the incoming bat (Webbo) that it wasn't doing much.
The Claw was a little unfortunate to pick out mid-wickets hands when he attempted to put away a full-toss, but his departure led to a fruitful partnership between Simply and Ex-knob. Neil was in his element against the slow bowlers, gently caressing the ball to all comers, as long as they were called Cow. Bill played second fiddle, in an entertaining stand that took the total through three figures, until a rather poor Fox-trot down the track led to an inevitable stumping. Chuckles wasted little time in staking a claim to Neil M's duck cup and Spud was dismissed, when neither umpire was aware of the no-ball rule (there are no sour grapes here I can assure you and I will not harp on relentlessly about injustices). Simon, introduced as a bowling alternative to up and down Moyse, showed he had more than just bowling strings on his bow, by supporting a classy late run barrage from Slack (34) with some intelligent batting and good rotation of the strike. Our innings was closed by the skip, after 44 overs had yielded 200 runs for the loss of 7 wickets. Two old stagers were given the responsibility i of opening the attack, with Chuckles, formerly famed for several drainpipe escapes from ladies bedrooms and The Fox, more recently accosted by two frustrated women desperate for a threesome, showing there was no lack of lead in their pencils. Old Wilsonians failed to cope with neither the relentless accuracy of Steve nor the nagging swing of John, with the first ten overs yielding only fifteen runs. Spud pouched a catch at second slip off Steve and a -vicious knee-capper from Chucks, rendered the other opener unable to continue. Simon replaced John and got both swing and some movement off the pitch. He regularly beat the bat only to witness Dustbin Lids Timms floundering behind the stumps. As so often happens, his first wicket for the club came courtesy of a rank ball swatted straight into a fielder's hands - Steve the recipient of an exocet to fine leg. In an effort to open up the game Bill and Spud tossed it up, GT gave a poignant impersonation of Barry Andrews behind the stumps and we gradually reduced our playing staff, with Simply (Tina Turner at The Fairfield Halls) and Jim (Big Fanny and I don't mean Anna) departing the fray. The innings closed at 149 for 6 after a successful appeal against the light, this despite The Oz bowling his gentle off-breaks. All in all it was a good riposte to our previous result and should have cemented what is a nice fixture on good facilities.
