Match Report
Sunday 30 June -v- Hurst Green at Drewetts Field
Crusaders narrowly missed out on, what had appeared earlier in the afternoon, to be a highly improbable victory, when Simply failed to cling on to a thin edge from the penultimate ball of the day, off the bowling of Danglers. Earlier in the day, Gord had elected to bat (we never bat first at Hurst Green) and seen Richard and ‘can't believe I got caught at mid-off again' Clements put quick runs on the board against an attack minus the Sweaty Bloke. With the score on 36, Richard mis-timed another attempted bludgeon and was caught at deep mid-on. This brought another debutante to the crease, in the form of Dan Simpson. Rumoured to be the bastard son of Ralph Coates, resplendent with comb forward in an attempt to conceal an obvious Spam forehead, he joined the ever expanding list of first knock ducks, when he scooped a full toss to Simon (sub fielding too well) at mid-wicket. Always a man to steady the ship, Jim couldn't even get the ball as far as mid-off this week, allowing the bowler a simple return catch. TC ‘survived' the hat-trick ball by thumping it to the boundary, but added no further runs in becoming Mr Flower's fourth victim. It seems two of the 'Burham Four' have learnt little from last year's high jinks and despite the reputation for collapse that our side has built up over the years, felt the need to partake of more Harvey's Best in the Royal George. Slack and the Skip restored parity, during a stand which added 64, until their almost telepathic communication for once let them down, leaving Gord unable to regain his ground, though still finding time to give an appreciative wave of his bat to the crowd. This instigated another collapse, with Limp, Simply and Simon following Gord back to the pavilion, for the addition of only two more runs. At 106 for 8 on a perfect track, with Blind Pugh still in the hutch, a level of tedium was necessary to ensure that we used all the time available to us and gave our bowlers something to defend. With over 150 not outs to their names, there are none more resolutely dull than Moyse and Whale in such circumstances. A laborious unbroken stand of 54 carried the score to 160 at the tea-time declaration, with Spud and Slightly 29 and 25 not out respectively.
Since the arrival of a willowy new girl on his arm, Darren seems to have found new purpose in his bowling and he appeared to relish the challenge against Hurst Green’s flamboyant opener. Success came somewhat bizarrely, with a short ball that eventually nestled itself in Simply's right gauntlet, via thigh pad and bat face. A cunning plan had been hatched in an effort to remove this troublesome batsman, with someone dropped deep on the square leg boundary, set up for the pull or top-edged hook-shot. Unfortunately the trap was set by Jim, who has no idea where his deliveries are going and the recipient was Ernie Wilsdon, who wears the thickest milk-top glasses in the West; the obvious result was four runs. Nosperm and DG added another wicket each and we began to fancy our chances of turning the game on its head. Hurst Green put up some resistance in the middle order, but accurate bowling from Simon and Spud meant an ever spiralling run rate. HG's Fat Bloke foolishly took on the Whale Arm, with inevitable consequences (he must have been slow) and the dismissal paved the way for Simon to grab three quick wickets. Danglers ran out a giggling octogenarian to set up a tense finale, but the final pair remained intact. Hurst Green closed on 92-8 from 37 overs and we retired to the Royal George for some splendid refreshment.
