Match Report
Sunday 22 September -v- Locksbottom at Tugmutton Common
SUICIDE WATCH
The Club completed its 2002 fixtures with a comfortable victory at Tugmutton. The end of Gord's first season in charge, which has seen a record thirteen wins, with our only loss at the hands of Earlswood, sadly, will probably be better remembered as 'The Day The Oz Choked'. Requiring a meagre 104 runs to pass 1000 for the season, his bottle went in typically Australian fashion. When a bit of British Stiff Upper Lip was required all that was seen was some Antipodean Rectum Quiver. In breezy conditions, with the pitch hard and true Gord, had no hesitation in taking first knock. The fact that we only had six players may also have influenced the decision. Spud and Jim opened and did the decent thing by getting out quickly, allowing Richard sufficient time to accrue the necessary runs. This he appeared to be doing with some relish, hammering deliveries all over the park, while Danglers was happy to nudge and nurdle to maintain his three figure average. The pair put on a record stand of 143 for the 3rd wicket, before a sphincter spasm ended Richard's stay at the crease, eight short of a fourth ton this season. Darren eventually passed fifty, with the smattering of applause waking my mother from her boredom induced slumber. At the completion of forty overs, we had passed 200 for the sixth time this season setting Locksbottom 206 for victory. Locksbottom must have felt all their Christmas's had come at once, when they saw the aged pairing of Timms and Braithwaite adjusting girdles and inhaling from puffers, before opening our spell in the field. After eight overs even I was looking skywards for a Reindeer drawn sleigh. Habitually as ever, Chucks managed to find a ball marginally less awful than it's precedents, to send back their more free-scoring opener ( rumoured to have scored a ton last week); quite why he felt the need to dance down the track to John, only he will know. Ernie and Spud bowled reasonable spells in mid-innings and whilst Locksbottom made reasonable progress, they didn't appear to have a batsman capable of taking our bowling apart. With Jim, Gordon and Nunfer all featuring in the attack, it's hard to conceive that they didn't score the necessary eight an over required to win the game.
We took refreshment in the excellent Woodman at Farnborough Village, where The Oz pleaded for an extension to the season.
