Match Report
Sunday 2 May -v- Northdowns and Matfield at Matfield Green
On another dull and weather threatened day we journeyed, for the first time to the idyllic setting of Matfield, for our sole fixture with Northdowns. The picturesque surroundings did nothing for Spud’s ability to pick a winner in a two horse race, as once again the toss was lost and we were installed.
Mark seemed determined to rid himself of the memory of last week, being quick to punish a selection of shortish bowling, while John resumed his torrid battle to punish anything at all. One too many airy hoicks catered for Chucks, but not before a healthy 43 had been compiled for the first wicket. Gordy,Sumo and Farmer Gale provided the spectacular collapse that virtually erased the solid foundations that had been laid, as we lost our next three wickets for only 23.The Lip shuffled in his usual uncomfortable looking manner, but hung around long enough to help Darkie to fifty. Matters were redressed with the help of Limp, who joining Mark with the score on 91-5, helped steady Darkies increasingly flatulent botty as his personal tally neared 100.The depths of "The nervous nineties were explored to the full, until a leg side prod brought up the magic figure. His departure soon after led to GT’s assault on a personal fifty, but when he fell to the sort of shot we have come to expect, the skip had seen enough.
The declaration left Northdowns to score 168 to win in two hours; if we had given them two days they probably wouldn’t have got them. Northdowns challenge foundered against more accurate bowling from the "Seedless One" and the Old Banker, but again we lacked any real penetration. Jim picked up just one wicket, by virtue of a solo, almost mute LBW appeal, whilst Steve bagged the opener, with assistance from the skip and added to it the scalps of two top order rabbits. With the oppo showing no inclination to chase the runs, the toss it up spinners plied their trade for a second week. Unfortunately the reaction was similar to last week and only Spud managed to permeate some stolid defence, helping himself to three wickets. Gordon’s respectable return of last week was put firmly into context, whilst the suspect action of Timms was placed some way beyond boundary, encircling road, patch of grass, neighbouring fence and left deep in the midst of a garden 90 yards away. The game meandered into obscurity and thoughts turned towards Darkie’s Jug and the delights of The Star. The majority of our hosts hid in a corner, probably due to overhearing conversations of "plating" and suchlike, with little or no talk of the events of the afternoon. Mark being the Club Man that he is, "Phoned the Wife" to report his hundred and also to arrange to ‘shit on his mates’. QUOTE ‘I'll never change when I get a girlie’ - Darkus Paine (numerous occasions) Well I think that has cleared that one up.
