Match Report
Sunday 2 August
After watching the Tyson/Tucker fight we played a round of putting, which not surprisingly the Skipper won, with a barrage of birdies. With time elapsing we travelled to the Fisherman’s Haunt, close to the afternoon fixture with Bransgore. The game was delayed by several minutes while we waited for the arrival of Kev’s Scampi (Fat Bastard) and entertainment was provided by kamikaze wasps, intent on drowning in local ale.
Sunday 2 August –v- Bransgore at Bransgore
With livestock still the preferred currency in Dorset, Spud was relieved when the Sheep landed correctly on all fours and he elected to field. A positive and attacking start by the oppo was similar to yesterday’s debacle, with Barry demonstrating to anyone who was unaware what a dreadful fielder he is. Eventually the Skip tired of Bransgore’s progress and decided to get three out in a row – no-one was surprised when he did. Steve L bowling the usual crap, picked up a couple of wickets, just as it looked like he would be replaced and all of a sudden our hosts were wavering. The pressure was maintained, with Spud running through the tail to return another six wicket haul, with Bransgore dismissed for a lowly 80.
An absolutely spiffing tea was had, before the resurrected partnership of Webb and McMahon took to the field. A scramble for kit ensued, as we ‘padded up’ to number 8, such was the confidence in our opening duo. The pair delivered as expected, with Glenn presumably aware of a local law that would enable him to get a beer at 4.30, sacrificing his wicket for the good of the team at 4.27. His partner was to follow shortly after, the victim of a tremendous piece of bowling, with the ball rearing off a length and hitting Bill’s very prominent mouth. Pole-axed but not bowed and after a quick check for missing teeth amongst the blood on the pitch, Bill retired. He returned later, but it was not the same Bill – he scored some runs. Steady batting from Neil C, Kev and Steve L ensured the target was surpassed without too many more alarms. A Crusaders dressing room poll unanimously named the Bransgore opening bowler as Man of the Match. Entertainment was provided in the Carpenters Arms and a return fixture for next season cemented.
All the Gay people went home, leaving just the hardcore drinkers back at the Malt and Hops getting extremely pissed and enjoying the fact that Bill was rendered mute and could only drink via a straw. After upsetting the Landlord with some tardy drinking up we dined on curry atop the cliffs, followed by a spot of skinny-dipping – not a pretty sight. Slightly wet and bedraggled Karen and Clare were smuggled in to the Hotel.
Monday 3 August
After a leisurely breakfast, with Clare and Karen left shivering in the car outside, we headed for Karen’s Mum’s house at Wimborne for afternoon tea. A short stay developed into a lengthy occupation of The Albion, whilst we awaited the result of a pretty poor game of darts. The party eventually arrived home at about seven, though Glenn was rumoured to be still parked up in a lay-by just outside Wimborne.
